Awkward and Proud

Top 10 things GitHub will do with VC Funding

GitHub is getting a round of VC funding. Here are the top 10 things they plan on using the money for.

  1. Genetically engineer an actual octocat.
  2. Pay off the anonymous Italian who’s been squatting on “code.it”
  3. Upgrade Rick Olsen to “technosausage”
  4. Mojombo will finally buy back the username “tom” from the MySpace guy.
  5. Build a room just for holding their giant piles of cash.
  6. Get the lunar datacenter they’ve been eying for months.
  7. Develop a post-receive hook that actually kills a kitten when someone force pushes.
  8. Buy Linus.
  9. Fund the covert operation to eliminate the out-of-control self-aware Hubot.
  10. Have a drinkup.